Nonsense story of epic proportion
by TeamSparkles
Summary: Yello I'm back this is a story that has mangoes banana pants and muffin wars. Pretty much crack fic. me and my friend each took a line. She started. Enjoy TeamSparkles
1. Chapter 1

Yello I'm back this is a story that has mangoes banana pants and muffin wars. Pretty much crack fic. me and my friend each took a line. She started.

Enjoy TeamSparkles

me no own.

(No Maia, post COG)

There in the library

a demon pops out

From behind of a book case were church is trying to eat

A falafel with pink lemonade(warlock powde)

Jace an clary are trying to make a rune for a mangos smoothie

But when Alec the test dummy tries the rune

He ends up as a mango smoothie instead

Then magnus walks in and he picks up the smoothie and says

I prefer strawberry banana

Alec turns back into a human but has lost his

Pants in favor of a banana

Jace loves bananas so he steals Alec's banana pants

Alec screams and jumps behind Magnus

Magnus grins and starts sing a mariachi tune

Suddenly a shining light burst from behind Alec

And Alec is transported into The Last Hambuger

Isabelle dances into the room with a giant bowl of soup

And told everyone to eat it or be eaten

Simon rushes after her and says that he tried to stop it

Then valintine comes in and orders to eat the soup

Simon bites valintine and puts his blood in the soup

And he feeds it to newly resurrected Sebastian

Sebastian spews it out and spits swear words at izzy

Then Alec back from TLH bites magnus thinking he was

A to-be-fried crab

Then Max shows up to declare war against muffins

"Corn or blueberry they shall become ashes!"

Clary who happens to love muffins turns into a muffin tank

And has jace shoot her at max

Magnus who is very protective of Lightwoods stops her by

Flicking his wrist and turning jace into a blueberry muffin, and

Making clary a flouting blood bag

Suddenly a crazed looking man burst in with a yell

"I am Mortman,hear my roar!"

Suddenly' a dazzlin black haired beauty tackles him from behind

This turns out to be Will so Alec slaps him

Simon steps forward and starts singing in welsh

About a dragon tattoo on a young lads backside

Suddenly will jumps up and rides piggyback on izzy

Who kicks him in the gut and head to knock him out but

He combusts on her while singing about a lightworm

Magnus recanizing this and sings along with harmonys

As Simon feels his inner musician swell, he joins

In a acapella version of 25 or 6 to four.


	2. AIGTBS day

Me no own  
Ohh also I wanted to say my science teachers name is Mr. Alberts. He's my favorite teacher. He was teaching us about newton meters or Joules. He was saying how newton meter is like a conjoined last name of newton and meter. He used an example with his own name. His fathers last name is Alberts and his mothers maidan name is Laps so he said it would be Lapalberts. But he said that sounded weird so he maid it Laperts. He then said it sounded French, but they wouldn't make the ts part so it would be Laper. Mr. Alberts is kinda inappropriate but he's totally cool. He said Laper sounded like pervert. So he said "I am Mr. Pervert" right as the vice princeple walked in. That was funny. Thank you for listening to my rant Enjoy.

Third person POV  
Alec walked into the kitchen. This was AIGTBS day or Alec is going to be sexy day. But they didnt know that. As he walked by the fridge he snarled and wiped of his shirt,reaviling his six packs and pecs. He turned to the girls,and Jace, who all had there mouths hanging open and said, "Close your mouth,your going to catch flys" in the most suductive voice ever heard to nephilim kind. He slipped of his pants as he walked upstairs laughing.

Don't even ask what Magnus was thinking when he came up with AIGTBS day. He just thought it would be fun to mess the shadowhunters for a day. But when he got to the Institute and saw what they were doing, he regretted it.

Simon knocked on the Institute door. (A/N he can go in) When no answered he walked in. He was shocked to see an almost naked Alec sitting on a thrown made of silver. Isabelle,Jace and Clary were bowing at his feet chanting "All hail sexy Alec" while Magnus sat in the corner head in hand mumbling, "stupid,stupid,stupid."

Isabelle,Jace and Clary were watching Alec train when Isabelle said "I think I'm pulling a Clary," Clary's head wiped around "What?" Isabelle smirked "I'm in love with my brother,"

A/N Don't say any thing I just had an insparation. Don't judje.


	3. Paris

Paris

A/N: I wrote this in a random fit of randomness. No own. COG

Jace POV  
Isabelle came running down the stairs with a blushing Alec and a smirking Magnus. "Jace,Jace,Jace! OMG! AHHHHHHHH!" I put my hand on here arm. "Izzy,calm down. Now tell me." She breathed deeply, "ok well," then she screamed out right as Maryse walked in, "ALEC'S LOSING HIS VIRGINITY IN PARIS! AHHHHH!" I heard a choking sound and I turned around to see that Alec and Maryse looked like they were both dying. Alec sprinted out of the room with Magnus on his heels. Maryse just turned around and walked away.

That day has never been mentioned since.


	4. Adam Lambert

" Adam meet Alexander my boyfriend." Adam Lambert smiled and said " Me and Magnus have been friends for a while and since I'm on tour I decided to drop in."

"Yo bro" Adam said " great hickey placement" Alec blushed and Magnus smirked. Jace how ever, was very courious "Where" he grabbed Alecs head so he coul see the hickey behind Alecs ear.

"Wait" Magnus said "Your doighting my hickey skills." Jace yawned and nodded his head. "Ohh your on"

Isabelle walked into the library and saw Magnus and Jace giving themselves hickeys while Alec and Adam were writing a song called for your entertainment.

"ha blondey I win." Magnus yelled.

A/N this is just nonsence with Adam Lambert. It's set up like What's Trivial.


	5. What now!

Isabelle and Magnus get a manicure  
Love is Colorblind  
― M.G. Wells

Magnus POV  
Isabelle and I were getting a manicure. The manicurist was talking to the person next to her who was doing Isabelle's nails. They were talking in Indonesian.  
(AN: italic is Indonesian)  
_"Look at these people, I bet they never had to do a day of work in there lives!"  
"I know. And they expect us just to pamper them and paint there nails."_  
I was getting angry, what did they know about Isabelle's and my life! They didn't know that Isabelle saves there little mundane but every day. They didn't know I was beaten bloody by my own father! Isabelle looked at me with a worried face. "You okay Magnus? You look a little red." I nodded saying I was fine but she still looked concerned. Right then Alec and Jace walk in. I smiled at Alexander and made a face At Jace. Alexander smiled back and said "hello love" the manicurist decides that she doesn't like this so she says, in Indonesian,  
_"And a fag too, disgusting." _  
Then I snapped.  
_"Beraninya kau mengatakan hal seperti itu! Anda tidak tahu apa yang mereka telah melemparkan. apa yang saya telah melemparkan.! dan kemudian Anda memanggil saya homo! yakin im digunakan untuk itu, tetapi tidak meen itu tidak mempengaruhi saya,dan ive melakukan lebih banyak pekerjaan dalam 10 tahun pertama daripada yang pernah Anda akan lakukan dalam kehidupan duniawi kecil Anda!" _  
(AN: it sounded better in my head, if Magnus yelled in Indonesian. Translation. how dare you say something like that! you dont know what they have been threw. what I have been threw.! and then you call me a fag! sure im used to it, but it doesnt meen it doesnt effect me, and ive did more work in my first 10 years than you will ever do in your puny mundane life!)  
My the end of my rant the Manicurist was wide eyed own fear and looking at the outline of my body. I was glowing.  
"Uhhh Alexander?" I squeak. And for some reason I was almost crying. Alexander just grabbed my hand and led me out of the salon. When we got a ways away we stopped. Alexander looked me in the eyes and noticed me crying. "Oh love, what's wrong?" He sounded so concerned. I just broke down. "How could they-I don't understand- its not- I don't know what to do!" He just held me tight listening to my rant and rubbing my back. "It's okay. Shhhhhhhh." We stood there embracing for a while when he asks "what did they say to make you so mad?" I look anywhere but his blue eyes. "They called me a fag." I say quietly. Alexander hugs me tighter but says "you told me that it didn't bother you anymore?" I hide my face in his neck and he says "Maggie I have something to tell you," I nod and look into his eyes "I'm pregnant."  
WHAT?

(:-/ awkward face emoji.)

Magnus POV  
I sat up quickly. I was in bed. I looked at my nails. They were the same bright yellow that I've had for a week. So I didn't get a manicure. I didn't explode. Alexander's not pregnant. ,  
I looked over at the Shadowhunters who was laying next to me sleeping. I lifted the covers and glanced at Alexander stomach. Still Ab-tastic! "Good morning love. Don't forget to put pant on when you leave our room." Why was he saying that. Sure I had a tendencies to walk around the loft naked, but it was my loft! "Why." He looked at me and said "cause my parents, siblings, Clary and Simon are here. The institute is being fumigated." I groaned and put my head on Alexander bare chest. Right then Isabelle and Jace stuck there heads in and said "get some clothes on and come to the living room." Alec nodded and pulled on his pants. ( NO SHIRT!) I snapped on a pair of sweatpants that say "I'm sexy and I know it" on the but. Hand in hand Alexander and I walked to living room. When we got there the whole group was already there. Clary looking tired. Jace looking VERY awake. Simon looking at Isabelle. Isabelle looking at me. And Robert and Mayrse looking nervous. Alexander sat down on the chair he sat in when he was first here, I sat in his lap. "Children. Simon, Clary," Mayrse looked at me "Magnus, we have gathered you here to tell you something." Isabelle's eyes widened. Then Robert spoke "your mothers pregnant." Everybody just sat there shocked. I felt Alexander arms wrap around my waist tighter and I could hear his breathing speed up. "It's going to be a boy." I felt Alexander wet tears on my shoulder. I knew he was thinking of Max. "Magnus, we would like to ask you something" I brought my head up at Mayrse voice "yes" I said  
"We were wondering if you would mind if we named the baby after you"  
"Really"  
"Yes. This is no joking matter."  
"His name would be Magnus Lightwood."  
"Yes, Magnus Maxwell Lightwood."  
I looked back at Alexander who just smiled and nodded. "I would be honored."

9 months later  
Magnus POV  
I was holding Magnus Maxwell Lightwood. It was a healthy birth. No complications. I smiled down at my soon to to brother-in-Law. Little Magnus gurgled and played with my engagement ring. Alexander proposed to me 3 months earlier. The wedding was set for 7 months from now. Alec wraps his arms around my waist. "Do you ever think about children?" I look back at him shocked. "Well I guess so, why?"  
"Well there's this couple who have a warlock child and they can't take care of her so-"  
" Alexander,Do you want a kid"  
"Yes"  
"Who is that couple?" He grinned. I grinned. And a week later we picked up Isabelle Jocelyn Lightwood-Bane. A month later I found a spell in the book of the white to make Alexander immortal. And we lived happily ever after. Forever.  
AN:Regular to crackish to angst to crackish to angst to happy. I don't know were this fic was going I just started writing


	6. Chapter 6

Magnus teaching Simon politic.  
"It's like a million little paper cuts"  
-Alec Lightwood

3rd person POV  
"I can't just go up to a vampire, slap him and say 'Fuck you'"  
Magnus says and then slaps Simon. "Because he would slap me back me back and say 'Fuck you'. It would began a slap war."

A/N That's it. Sorry for not updating on my m. It's just difficult for me to deal with everything. Thank you


	7. MALEC has done everything

Malec has done Everything  
"Yes we did Isabelle. Remember that time in Idris? Lake Lyn count as a body of water." (A/N you can decide what they did.) Magnus said. Alec grins and says "another thing we did. That was the best three-way ever!" Isabelle chokes on the strawberry she's eating. "Who did you have a three-way with?" Alec and Magnus's eyes drifting over to Jace who had a smug look on his face. "Best sex if had. Magnus and Alec are GOOD! I didn't think I was heteroflexible (a/n best Glee fic ever! Klaine!) until then. Who knew?" Isabelle just sat there while she processed the new information. "We should do that again." Alec says Magnus and Jace look at each other before all three of them run out of the room.

A/N I wrote this in like five minuets. So don't blame me. I got the idea when I was reading this Glee Klaine fic called Heteroflexible.


End file.
